{lullaby}

Russ is the singer in our family.  He is GOOD, amazing actually and in comparison I am well untrained and off key (at least when I am accapella).  I don't sing to my kids very often, at least not if people can hear me.  Don't get me wrong I can sing in a group, blend into a choir, or belt out quite the rendition of  'Do Your Ears Hang Low' in the car, with the kids, to the accompaniment of Aly's CD, but that is just silliness, I can do silliness, in the car when no one is watching, or hearing rather.  I just don't really like to do solos, especially in public, when I am not supposed to be doing a solo.  I have fears about being that crazy lady who is singing in the grocery store completely unaware of her surroundings.  Russ sings ALL THE TIME!  No matter where or when.  I love it!  He always has, he always will.  I know this.  I love this.  But yesterday at the insta-care Russ was not there.  My baby boy was hurting and sad.  He was screaming.  I tried cuddles, soothing words, rocking him, distracting him.  He cried.  My heart ached and all I wanted to do was make him better.  I wanted to sing but we were in a waiting room FULL of people.  As soon as we were called back to our little room I cuddled him and began to sing.  His sobbing lessened.  I sang some more, he started to relax.  I kept singing.  His crying stopped.  I felt his breathing slow down.  I cuddled him and sang.  I am certain the entire staff could hear me though the door.  Singing to my child.  Off key.  I didn't care.  He was calm.  I stopped singing and just held him.  He lifted his little head off of my chest touched my face and said, "Please sing Maggie's song Mommy, sing Maggie's song."  So I did.  I sang the song I sing to put Maggie to sleep, the same song I used to sing to put Aly to sleep, the very same song I sang when Thatcher was just a baby.  Apparently I haven't sang it to my son for a while because he remembers it as "Maggie's song".  I sang it over and over again.  We sang for the next 30 minutes while we waited to see the doctor.  Music is powerful.  It is inspiring.  It is soothing.  I love that my children love music and I am so grateful for a husband that has made music such a part of their lives.  I need to remember to let my inhibitions go and just sing, out loud!  Oh and btw, I am taking over lullaby duty for a while.  I need the practice!